I have been spelling quadriplegic this way for 41/2 yrs. That is why most of you are having a hard time finding my blog. Yes I am retarded. One of our many lovely creditors just phoned me and asked what type of bankruptcy are You filing? I said: I think I am filing chapter 12. He said, " there is only chapter 7 and 13."

I really did a number on myself by hitting my head when I crashed and I popped way to many pills. I have chronic nerve pain from my injury but not as much pain as I led myself to believe. I thought, : the only way I'm going to be able to deal with this injury is to be high. It put me in a fog, in made me feel Good, And I didn't have to deal with the reality of being a quadriplegic. It was the only way I knew how to cope at the time. I Have been clean now for 10 week's with a few slip ups. It doesn't sound as bad when you say it that way. when you have an unhealthy addiction you're supposed to substitute it for a healthy activity . I always new I should try bloging but never had the desire until now. it has brought me so much happiness and peace. I cant believe that people care about what I have to say.

On a lighter subject I'm going to tell you another funny story about, guess who? Jake! Like I have said before, Jake is a softy, to put it nicely. He will not go into the developed basements where the 3 older kids stay. I would go with him but we don't have an elevator. He also won't go into the garage alone to get me my diet coke's. So he prefers to use Which ever toilet is closest to whomever is in the house. My bedroom and bathroom are open to each other so this one night Jake runs into my bedroom and says, " I need to use the bathroom, I'll be really quick, it should only be one." After he was done he said you, " oh, it was 2 poops."

I enjoy my kids so much. I feel so blessed to have had them all before my accident.

JAKE AND I

During dinner Seth and Calvin were talking about spooning girls. Great table talk eh. There is not much in this family that we don't talk about. Back to the story, Jake lifted up a spoon full of spaghetti and said, "Im spooning this much!"

Rylee was at her High School Football game on friday and when she went to use the public restroom she met a friendly girl who was handicapped. The girl asked Rylee what team she was cheering for and Rylee answered her. She kept talking to Rylee while Rylee went into the bathroom stall and after a few minutes Rylee looked up and saw her eye peeking threw the crack in the door frame. Rylee stopped responding to her questions and eventually she got the hint that Rylee wanted some privacy while using the potty. When Rylee came out of the stall the cute little girl was pulling toilet paper off the bottom of her shoe. She said to Rylee, "this always happens to me."

RYLEE and I

Be careful what you wish for

Before my accident I had big muscular legs. My husband has long thin legs and I envied them. I said, wouldn't that be awesome if we could trade legs." Yay! I have them now.

Calvin the Thumper

Calvin is my oldest son, he is 14. He is tender hearted and affectionate. He is also very Intelligent and a great athlete. I love his confidence, I wish I had more of it. Calvin was there when I fell and broke my neck. The picture below is of him and his sister Rylee. They were 10 and 12 when I became a quadriplegic.

Calvin and Rylee were nerds for Halloween.

The other morning I woke up to my 3 little kids sleeping in bed with me. They tend to do that when their dad works at the station. Out of all 4 of us who slept in that bed it was me who wet the bed. Yes thats right I wet the bed, thats what happens when I get bad bladder infections. You just have to laugh about it especially because it should have been one of the kids wetting my bed but no it was the mom.

Lance and Jake fight all the time. Lance instigates and wins almost every fight. He's the one on the top, you know the one with the fangs. The other morning he hurt Jake pretty bad so I sent him to his room. After Jake stopped crying he yelled out to Lance, "Lance your going to be in your room for 27 seconds."

I was reading my blog to Rylee about Jake being a super freak and he over heard me say, "where has my baby precious gone?" He got mad and said, "Mom I'm still your princess."

You Just Have To Laugh About It

carving pumpkins

Rylee told Jake that if you eat a pumpkin seed it will grow in your body. Seth ate a pumpkin seed and jake said, "you are going to get pumpkin fat".

Freak Show

Jake Lance

Jake my youngest boy, baby precious, a little bit spoiled to say the least. He is not the most aggressive kid. He's a softy, a daydreamer, and a cuddlier. He told me he wanted to play basketball because he was good. I believed him because he was very convincing but I should have known better. He just finished up soccer and he loved it but he was one of those kids that would play with the butterflies in the field rather than the ball. When we went to basketball the first day the kids practice for the first half hour and play the game the last half hour. Now Jake I thought was tall for his age until I got to the game and saw that half of his team were a head taller and they played like little professionals. They were pulling off underhand layups! When they were warming up and passing the ball back and forth to each other Jake was teamed up with one of the big boys. He was passing the ball so hard to Jake that by the last catch Jake started crying. He had fun in the game even though no one passed to him and I don't thinks he touched the ball once. So yesterday when Jake, Lance and I went to the second basket ball game, Jake immediately said that he didn't want to warm up. Lance decided that he wanted to play basketball when he saw how fun it was the first game so I told Jake that if he didn't want to warm up than he couldn't play ball and his brother would gladly take his spot. Jake was ok with that until the game started thats when he grew horns and turned red. I would have asked if they could both play but their team was so full. For a half hour Jake screamed, cried, jumped up and down, and kicked my wheelchair. It was so embarrassing. I tried to leave and go in the hallway but every time I went to push my wheels he would hold me back while still screaming of course. When we got home he was still raging, so i put him in his room. Where he proceeded to kick a hole in the door. Where has my baby precious gone?

I WANT TO DRIVE!

I've been working on driving since January of last year. Its taking this long because we don't have $40,000. laying around to buy a hand controlled wheelchair accessible vehicle. So we have had to go to the state and ask them for help. They might be able to help out with some of it but in the meantime they have asked me to take an assessment to see what vehicle would fit me best. I had to take my open book learners test and that was so hard. Doing all that reading and studying I thought that my head was going to explode. I cant believe that I passed on the first try, I felt pretty smart. I now have to take 6 hrs. of driving school in a hand controlled vehicle. I'm so excited about that part. After that is done they will submit all the paper work into the state and they will say yes or no to helping me pay for half of the vehicle. I have felt like a prisoner in my own home. For the past 4yrs. I've had to rely on neighbors, family, and friends to drive the kids and I places. Thank goodness for all the good people in our lives. If it weren't for this accident I would not have met all these beautiful people in my life. I cant wait to drive my kids to school, games, mommy son and mommy daughter dates. Oh to have that freedom back will be so uplifting.

My chatter box, seth!

Seth is an amazing athlete. Everything comes easy for him. I asked him one day if he did a back flip on his skis, and he said "thats to easy mom, i don't do that anymore!" When he was playing soccer, he wasn't wearing his right jersey. The other soccer coach asked if he was one of the players, because he plays twice as good as anyone else.

Seth loves to talk. He is a great communicator. He always has to be in everyones business, always talking! I love it because we can talk for hours at a time.

I couldn't find a picture of seth around the time of the accident so I put up this one on the far left of when he was just a little fella. The other picture was taken this year. He is 12 now and he was 8 when I entered into hell.

My Angel Meg

This girl is god sent. She was picked just for our family. Heavenly Father knew we needed her. When I broke my neck she was in kindergarden. She didn't want to go any more she just wanted to stay at home and take care of her mom she was five then. I let her stay home because she has a August birthday and the cut off date is the first of September. So now she's the oldest in her class and I find that works better for my kids. She is still the second mommy in our house. When my morning routine is taking longer than it should which is often Meg will than wake up the two little boys, get jake dressed, and feed them both breakfast and its not just cereal. She makes them eggs and toast and pancakes. She walks them to and from school and helps Jake with his homework. She even sleeps with me when paul sleeps at the Fire Station for his forty-eight hour shift. One last thing she is so affectionate.

Sir Lance a little

Lance is my second youngest son. He was just three here when I broke my neck. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. He would do anything for anybody. He is a very hard worker and is so independent. I love how thoughtful he is.

The Flight

Let me tell you about my long boarding accident, just in case some of you don't know what a long board is. Its just a long skate board. Four and a half years ago I was riding down a hill in Alpine with my two beautiful oldest boys nine and eleven years of age at that time. My brother who I love and adore was with me too. He was in his twenties and I was thirty three. Right before we left the house to go boarding my husband was out gardening and he yelled out to us to be careful. My husband is one of those sexy firefighters. Lucky me eh! So we were at the top of the hill looking down and I willingly let all the boys go first. They made it look easy. I got on the board, l was doing great at the start but than l started picking up to much speed. The road came to a T and there was a tall fence behind it. I though l was going to fast to make the turn so l tried to run it out. I started to stumble than tumble forward. I didn't even bother trying to take the brunt of the fall with my hands because I had bracken them previously in a snowboarding accident. instead I toke the blow to the head. My chin got slammed into my chest and broke my C5 C6 neck. At the time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was laying on the road and people started coming out of their homes and looking for concern at me. My brother panicked and proceeded to tell the people to go back into their homes and that his sister was fine and to stop staring at us. He than knelt down to me and said, "you are ok Jacquie?" I calmly said, "Kristopher I cant move." Not to long after that the ambulance arrived with my husband Paul following right behind them. He told me he forgot all his training when he saw it was me. Life Flight tock me away.

children are so cute

My youngest son who is six came to me the other day after watching the news and said, "mom on tuesday and thursday its going to be raining and lighting bolt striking".

Why do we have to make it so complicated?

Im filled with so much happiness and gratitude today. Its amazing how much easier life is when you do whats right. I thought the only way to deal with my was injury was to escape and when l say escape l mean use drugs. l cant say it didnt work or I wouldnt have used for four and a half years. lt worked until it stopped working for me.

Another eventful day in the hill home

I am on my way court with my 17 year old daughter. About a month ago she got pulled over for speeding. We had not yet registered or insured the car. It was on our things to do list but because it was going to cost us money it was at the bottom of the list. The cop impounded the car and left my crying daughter and 14 year old son on the side of the highway waiting for their dad to pick them up. So we ended up having to pay 600.00 in fee's to get the car back.

wish us luck at court!! were just now leaving..

My Baby Jake

This is how old my youngest was when i had my accident.

he was 18 months old. I sure got lucky with this one. He loves to cuddle and kiss. He is just so sweet.